Play Something Dancy by Dee Simon

Author:Dee Simon
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9780988347410
Publisher: Dee Simon
Published: 2012-10-31T23:00:00+00:00

I stood there staring at the closed window for a few seconds before backing away from the van and heading up the street. I didn’t have the faintest clue where I was, but I wasn’t all that concerned. San Francisco isn’t a very large city and sooner or later I was bound to find a cab somewhere. But I did make one resolution that evening: the next time I encounter a disabled man lying on a bathroom floor, I’m leaving him there.

The Birthday Boy

I sincerely enjoyed emceeing the birthday and bachelor parties at all the strip clubs that I have worked at because these are prime occasions for mockery. Not only is the DJ encouraged to embarrass the bachelor boy, it’s practically required by his peers and the club’s management. It’s the only instance on the job where the DJ is expected to be a complete and utter bastard. I must admit that it was a lot of fun. There was nothing off limits, and I had absolutely no misgivings about personally insulting the bachelor boy. The procedure at most clubs was essentially the same for bachelor parties and birthday parties. At the Doll House and most other strip clubs, bachelor parties were a free service provided by the club as long as the bachelor or birthday boy showed proof of his age or his upcoming marriage. Typically, a member of the bachelor party would come to the DJ booth and ask me about how the bachelor parties worked at the club. I persuaded him to purchase one for the bachelor even though I knew full well that the party was offered as a courtesy. But by the time most bachelor parties arrived at a strip club, they were so intoxicated, and eager to humiliate the bachelor, that they would pay me whatever I asked, which was usually around $200. I didn’t have qualms about lying to customers because they were usually too drunk to realize it, and if I didn’t do it, another employee would have taken their money. Regardless, I made sure that they purchased the bachelor boy a memorable experience. I’d wait for an appropriate time to announce the bachelor’s name and put him onstage with his back against the pole surrounded by ten to fifteen dancers. The dancers then took his shirt off and used his belt to bind his hands together behind the pole. With Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” blaring from the speakers and his friends jeering at him, the strippers formed a single-file line and each one of them had a chance to straddle the inebriated bachelor and shove their tits in his face. Some of the more sadistic dancers climbed to the top of the pole and slid down hard onto the poor guy’s lap and bounced up and down a few times. Others bent the guy over, grabbed a hold of his underwear, and pulled until it tore, giving him the most painful wedgie he had ever experienced. All this was done for the delight of his companions.

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